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Cultivate navigation of BIG feelings through the power of a meaningful question and claim space in your relationships for what you discover. Practice this. This has the potential to feel wonderful when you can do this more easily.

Ask yourself what you need. Where are YOU in this? What is most important to you about this. And really reflect.

Ask yourself if you could boil the issue down and come up with one essential authentic word and then one essential sentence what would you say? Practice holding and considering this. Can you embody this and claim your answer?

If you just let them, see this? Just this! What would the word and sentence be?

Maybe it’s love or loyalty or hurt. And often the sentence may be “Because this matters to me”. “Because YOU matter to me”. It is the essential issue and essential answer that matters the most and you can align yourself with it. It helps you center yourself in what is authentic and real about the situation. Not the extraneous circular thinking of life or in bogged down explanation that triggers fight or flight for you or others.

The power of your own question will hold a space for your BIG feelings to be held by you. You will feel the truth and authenticity of these feelings. They need NO explanation. They just ARE. You will realize then you have let go. Of the avoidance. Let go of the feelings. They are now free for you to experience. You made it to the other side. You have felt your feelings. You know yourself.

Meanwhile you will also have the chance to see that this wasn’t really ABOUT the other person. It was about you needing to SEE yourself clearly. When you do you can decide how to navigate. You may choose to still let it go even if you never speak of it again. You have found your own authentic truth, and you get to decide who hears it and how you use it to serve you.

Just look for the clarifying question that can hold this and give yourself time. What do YOU need? What is most important to you about this?

Questions are clarifying.

So, I’ll ask one and it’s:

Can the PDA person navigate “AWKWARD”?

If you love or care for a PDA person or are reading this for yourself. I think, the PDA person can absolutely face a demand! I think PDA people can create deep connectedness with others. But only if it can have an easier engagement and easier approach. They get the hang of it.

Unless they are blessed with a great deal of natural charm, it is incredibly hard work, which the PDA person will always need a little, or even a LOT of coregulation to navigate. It takes time to align with what really matters about the moment.

So, PDA relationships will be deeply connected if the “other” and the PDA person accepts “awkward” and allow for time, space and consideration without explanation or judgement.

It’s a practice and one that I can tell you will be easier if you fill your life with many sensitive like-minded people, so you don’t have to work as hard.

Embodying vulnerabilities and accepting them is the work of a lifetime. If you are a PDA adult allow yourself the grace to know you are a “work in progress”. You feel these moments of misunderstanding acutely BECAUSE you care.

You may get very good at this! Can you hold open this possibility?

If relationships matter in your life, you most certainly will find them demanding, but usually, with extended deliberate focus it will feel less demanding. The same thing won’t feel triggering any more. With time.

Cultivate your QUESTIONS and boil it down to the essential ones in your relationships. Ask them to see what’s meaningful to you. If they can, is it possible for them and for you to “let go” of any residual feelings? Can you, “let it go”?

Ease has the potential to be incredibly fulfilling and joyful. Letting go opens the space for what’s possible.